So often I talk with people who have gone through a divorce or separation, or a split up with their friend, but still feel that there are (negative) energetic connections that prevent them from moving on in their life. If this is how you feel you may want to consider using a ritual to help you energetically disconnect and re-balance your energy.
The Power of Ritual
Energetically, rituals can be very powerful and that’s why they have been used through time in spiritual traditions for example. But, also in our daily life we create rituals. For many the morning shower has become a kind of ritual, at least for me it has. One area we also created many rituals for is marriage, e.g. the way we ask someone to marry us, during the wedding ceremony there are a lot of rituals (church, vows, rings, etc.) and afterwards with the honeymoon.
However, isn’t it interesting that we didn’t create a ritual to end a relationship? Although, it almost seems that the fighting during a divorce has become the standard “ritual” to end a relationship. Intuitively we feel that there should and could be a different, more balanced and harmonious way to disconnect from each other. So what ritual could we use for this?
Examples of Rituals
When my wife and I agreed to formally divorce, I suggested to visit together all the places where we had lived in the Netherlands, with a nice dinner at the end to “celebrate” our decision. So, exactly on the 22nd anniversary of our marriage we “time traveled” and drove by the five homes where we had lived, we had a long walk along the beach and ended up having dinner with champagne in the town where we both grew up and met each other for the first time.
While we drove from one place to another, we talked about all the wonderful and life changing experiences we had shared together. After this day we both felt very much at peace with our decision and when we formalized our divorce a few weeks later, the lawyer who was assisting us couldn’t understand why we had so much fun together; he had never seen something like that before. Truth is that after almost a year of living separate we decided to live together again, and still are, but our relationship is now completely different, but that’s another story.
This was our way of using a ritual to energetically disconnect from the relationship. But you can think of many other ways to do this. Another example is shown in this short video clip.
Elements to Consider as Part of Your Ritual
I can already hear you ask, what would be the right way to do this? Well, there is no good or bad way, only your way. However, you may want to consider including one or more of these elements in your ritual:
- Forgiveness. If there have been some difficult situations during your relationship you may want to forgive each other for any hurt or pain that was caused knowing that such experiences help you to grow, however painful the situations were;
- Fire or water. Both have a cleansing attribute and are used in all kinds of rituals. Disclaimer: I don’t suggest that you burn the home where you last lived together…;
- Breathing. The use of breathing to help move and shift energy is used in many spiritual traditions. Why not sit together for 5-10 minutes and just consciously breath while making the choice to disconnect?;
- Honoring. So many people forget the real purpose of relationships, i.e. to help you grow. Why not include a way to honor each other and acknowledge the beautiful role the other has played in your journey?
- Celebration. You may want to include some form of celebration, in our case the champagne, to acknowledge this wonderful occasion of consciously disconnecting from each other.
The most important thing is that you create your own “ritual” that symbolizes and marks for you the decision to end the relationship. And, in case your (former) partner does not want to participate? Just feel this out for a second. Why not have such ritual by yourself then? In the end it is your disconnection that is important and that can be done unilaterally.
If you feel that a ritual may be something that can help you energetically disconnect from your relationship and you want to read some more about this, the following website may be of interest to you: WendyHaynes.com.
I hope this article will help you disconnect in a more balanced and harmonious way from a relationship, if you so chose. And, if you have any ideas, observations or suggestions, please feel free to share them here.