In a previous post, i.e. The BP Oil Spill: Choosing Your Perspective, I used clips from Bashar and Abraham to illustrate that every situation, even disasters, carry both positive and negative aspects from which you can choose how to feel. Or, as Bashar puts it: every situation is neutral until you assign a meaning to it. For metaphysicians this is easy to understand, i.e. our dimension is one of duality so everything has the positive and negative built in. However, for most people this is not so easy to accept and for them I would like to share a personal experience, which illustrates this concept in a simple way.
Running out of money
It was about three months ago that I was running out of money. I had not worked since August 2009 except for a few small projects, which didn’t create enough income. Although I had been talking with some companies about possible assignments, nothing had materialized yet and I came to a point where I had to withdraw cash from my credit card, something that would only provide a temporary solution. I had to take action and I decided to sell my car, a very nice, fully equipped, blue BMW 530.
Positive and negative aspects
Yvette, my partner, and my children were somewhat shocked about this decision (they loved the car perhaps even more than I did) and Yvette offered to lend me some money until I had found a new job. I declined, the selling of the car felt like the appropriate thing to do and I felt good about it.
For them this was difficult to understand. Wasn’t I just giving up one of the nicest cars I had ever driven? And, didn’t I realize I was about to lose a lot of money on selling the car, that is, if I were able to sell it at all in view of the adverse market conditions?
I could very well understand their arguments and feelings but I also told them that I didn’t want the car to become an unaffordable burden and I needed to pay my bills. Within a few days I sold the car using a specialized Internet auction site and it brought me a exactly the amount that I had set for myself as a minimum.
Looking at the situation there were indeed both negative and positive aspects. Negative: the financial loss that I incurred, which was indeed substantial, and I would no longer drive a beautiful car. Positive: the large amount of cash in my bank account and the fact that I had substantially reduced my monthly expenses.
Choosing a perspective
I could have easily felt very bad about the whole situation, even considering it a personal failure and making some drama out of it, criticising myself that I could have avoided this from happening if I had been looking for a new job much sooner then I did.
Instead, I chose to focus on the excitement of having a large sum of money in my account, feeling good about being debt free, substantially reducing my monthly costs of living and looking forward to buy another car, although much, much cheaper. I actually felt abundant.
The interesting thing was that I didn’t deny the “negative” aspects, but simply chose to feel good by focusing on the positive aspects. Do you understand now how you can chose your “reality experience”?
The buying of my current car illustrates the same point.
I had a lot of fun finding a low budget car, considering it an interesting challenge. In the end I found myself a 11 year old Peugeot 406 stationcar. To me it looked very nice and it brought back some great memories of the first cars that I had driven as a student.
My family didn’t understand my enthusiasm, especially when I told them that it felt as if I were about to pick up a brand new BMW. How can you be excited about an old car with some dents that has none of the sophisticated driving capabilities and luxury of a fully equipped BMW? But again, I chose to focus on the positive aspects, i.e. no longer needing to worry about others accidentally scratching my car, the space my new car had so I could take the dogs with me and the extremely low driving costs. And, every day I am driving that car I continue to feel abundant just because I chose to feel so.
So let me ask you now: have you recently experienced a situation where you had to give up or lost something that was very special or valuable to you? If so, were you able to see the positive aspects of the situation, or were you carried away by the feelings of loss and drama?
If you still feel resistant towards this idea of looking for the positive aspects in the challenges or problems that you encounter, you may feel inspired by this short video clip (3:27) with Abraham.
Next time, if something “bad” happens, just try to remember that you can always chose your perspective and feel good about a situation and before you know it problems and challenges will actually become fun for you, just because you know it is enabling you to expand yourself without limitation…
Please feel free to share your comments or experiences by filling out the comment section below.