Losing Something Precious And Still Feeling Abundant

In a previous post, i.e. The BP Oil Spill: Choosing Your Perspective, I used clips from Bashar and Abraham to illustrate that every situation, even disasters, carry both positive and negative aspects from which you can choose how to feel. Or, as Bashar puts it: every situation is neutral until you assign a meaning to it. For metaphysicians this is easy to understand, i.e. our dimension is one of duality so everything has the positive and negative built in. However, for most people this is not so easy to accept and for them I would like to share a personal experience, which illustrates this concept in a simple way.

Running out of money

It was about three months ago that I was running out of money. I had not worked since August 2009 except for a few small projects, which didn’t create enough income. Although I had been talking with some companies about possible assignments, nothing had materialized yet and I came to a point where I had to withdraw cash from my credit card, something that would only provide a temporary solution. I had to take action and I decided to sell my car, a very nice, fully equipped, blue BMW 530.

Positive and negative aspects

Yvette, my partner, and my children were somewhat shocked about this decision (they loved the car perhaps even more than I did) and Yvette offered to lend me some money until I had found a new job. I declined, the selling of the car felt like the appropriate thing to do and I felt good about it.

For them this was difficult to understand. Wasn’t I just giving up one of the nicest cars I had ever driven? And, didn’t I realize I was about to lose a lot of money on selling the car, that is, if I were able to sell it at all in view of the adverse market conditions?

I could very well understand their arguments and feelings but I also told them that I didn’t want the car to become an unaffordable burden and I needed to pay my bills. Within a few days I sold the car using a specialized Internet auction site and it brought me a exactly the amount that I had set for myself as a minimum.

Looking at the situation there were indeed both negative and positive aspects. Negative: the financial loss that I incurred, which was indeed substantial, and I would no longer drive a beautiful car. Positive: the large amount of cash in my bank account and the fact that I had substantially reduced my monthly expenses.

Choosing a perspective

I could have easily felt very bad about the whole situation, even considering it a personal failure and making some drama out of it, criticising myself that I could have avoided this from happening if I had been looking for a new job much sooner then I did.

Instead, I chose to focus on the excitement of having a large sum of money in my account, feeling good about being debt free, substantially reducing my monthly costs of living and looking forward to buy another car, although much, much cheaper. I actually felt abundant.

The interesting thing was that I didn’t deny the “negative” aspects, but simply chose to feel good by focusing on the positive aspects. Do you understand now how you can chose your “reality experience”?

The buying of my current car illustrates the same point.

I had a lot of fun finding a low budget car, considering it an interesting challenge.  In the end I found myself a 11 year old Peugeot 406 stationcar. To me it looked very nice and it brought back some great memories of the first cars that I had driven as a student.

My family didn’t understand my enthusiasm, especially when I told them that it felt as if I were about to pick up a brand new BMW. How can you be excited about an old car with some dents that has none of the sophisticated driving capabilities and luxury of a fully equipped BMW? But again, I chose to focus on the positive aspects, i.e. no longer needing to worry about others accidentally scratching my car, the space my new car had so I could take the dogs with me and the extremely low driving costs. And, every day I am driving that car I continue to feel abundant just because I chose to feel so.

So let me ask you now: have you recently experienced a situation where you had to give up or lost  something that was very special or valuable to you? If so, were you able to see the positive aspects of the situation, or were you carried away by the feelings of loss and drama?

If you still feel resistant towards this idea of looking for the positive aspects in the challenges or problems that you encounter, you may feel inspired by this short video clip (3:27) with Abraham.

Next time, if something “bad” happens, just try to remember that you can always chose your perspective and feel good about a situation and before you know it problems and challenges will actually become fun for you, just because you know it is enabling you to expand yourself without limitation…

Please feel free to share your comments or experiences by filling out the comment section below.

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3 Responses to Losing Something Precious And Still Feeling Abundant

  1. Dear Jan, I was looking for some comfort on your site. We lost something very very precious, our wonderfull dog named Rosie. We found her only 4 weeks ago abandoned at the beach (happens a lot here in Crete). By now she had found her way into our hearts big bibo times, she made us all so very happy, a little doggy about 6 months so alive, full of love, joy and appreciation. First we wanted to find a new home for Rosie but very soon looking into her sweet brown eyes there was no way to give her to somebody else. Now she has gone, disappeared, and just can’t be found anymore, we expect the worse… its seems difficult to find any sense or deeper meaning in loosing her so early. There are still mysterys out there in the my Univers which I might never solve. With our kids we were praying that the best for Rosie does happen, that her guardian angels take good care of her…..what else can one do, which perspective to take?

    • Jan says:

      Hi Gabriele, having recently adopted a puppy from Spain which was abandoned and put in a box on the street, I can easily imagine when looking in his big brown eyes what you are going through. When it comes to changing your perspective, what about thanking and remembering what the puppy brought to you and your family instead of focusing on the loss now it has gone? The puppy brought you a great gift i.e. reminding you to live each moment full of love and appreciation and apparently it fulfilled its role more quickly than you had hoped for:).

      • Thank You Jan! Your perspective rings true even that we wish nothing of this had happened.
        This morning I woke up with a new thought: We felt very much “in the Vortex” lately (like Abraham describes it) so if everything is lined up in the Vortex then also the loss of Rosie was somehow a part of the ongoing lined up process, even if its difficult to understand the deeper woven meaning or message of unfolding things sometimes. She has shown us how much more love we all have in our hearts, she has touched us deeply, what a wonderfull experience and this will always stay.

        Now I got a reminder about your special day 🙂
        Happy Birthday Jan from snowy Chania, Christmas has arrived even here in Crete. Many well wished for you and please keep up the wonderfull work you do! Gabriele

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