A couple of years ago Geoff Hoppe of the Crimson Circle gifted me an iPod Touch. Since then it has not only become the best travel companion I ever had, but like with so many others it has made me a big fan of all Apple products. It is hard to explain but whether it is a Mac laptop, an iPhone or iPad, they all have something special which is difficult to put in words; it’s a feeling you have about the products and the advanced technology they offer. And, when it comes to technology, I am your archetypical early adapter. Why am I telling you this? It will make you better understand the dilemma I am dealing with right now.
Ever since the iPhone was introduced in the Dutch market, I wanted to have one. Unfortunately, the phone was only offered through a telecom provider which I wasn’t using and which had a bad reputation for coverage. I could have bought an iPhone with a special Apple dealer but that was not only very expensive, there were also a lot of rumors that certain features wouldn’t function properly on the network of my own telecom provider. I had that happen once with another smart phone and I had to change phones in the end, and I certainly wasn’t going to repeat that frustrating experience.
As of this week however, my telecom provider is also offering iPhones, right at the time that I have to renew my contract, which usually means that I get to choose a new phone. So, what’s the dilemma I can already hear you say; get yourself an iPhone dummy! Normally, I would have, but here’s the problem. They are offering the iPhone 4, which has some well known problems most notably with the antenna and it is unclear when they will release the iPhone 5, which will have solved all these issues. Shall I take the iPhone 4 now, with its problems, or wait, risking that the iPhone 5 will only be issued after my contract renewal date?
Mind versus feelings
I know this is a simple and innocent dilemma but it illustrates beautifully what we often encounter with certain questions in life. Our mind says one thing, while our feelings, desires or heart tell something different. Whether it is the buying of that nice, but expensive phone, car or house, or choosing between something like job offers, we are often confronted with conflicting thoughts and feelings. I don’t know about you, but for me such dilemma’s were always very difficult to solve and I often had a nagging feeling afterwards that I made the wrong choice or decision. Do you recognize that? So, what can you do about it? Please allow me to share some thoughts and suggestions.
There are no good or wrong decisions, just experiences
One of the things that I learned is that making the “right” decision is an illusion. For example, many years ago, I accepted a new job which considering the circumstances seemed to be the right decision. Within a few months I ran into all kinds of problems and I was convinced that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. Interestingly, the problems became so big that senior management offered me a different position within the company, which brought me the experience I needed to qualify for the dream job I got one year later with another company.
Spiritual teachers often tell us that even if we make the “wrong” decision, the “system” will not allow for things that are incompatible with your vibration to continue and the law of attraction will eventually ensure for things to come your way. Once you realize there are no right or wrong decisions, only experiences, and in the end things will be all right anyway, it will become much easier to choose.
Choose whatever makes you feel the most happy
When confronted with a dilemma and your mind and feelings direct you in opposite ways, choose for the direction that makes you feel the most happy. You can usually argue the pro’s and con’s of any decision, so the mind can be satisfied whatever you choose. But, it is much harder with your feelings. Whenever you make a decision which logically makes all the sense in the world but makes you feel unhappy, it won’t work. You will continue to have those nagging feelings, regrets and you will be constantly looking for a way out, every day. Sounds familiar?
Choose whatever makes you feel the most excited, as Bashar is emphasizing and explaining in the following clip (5:51).
Don’t forget that you can always make a new choice
Even though you made a decision that made you feel happy, circumstances can change, you can change. So, after a while, you may very well find yourself again being confronted with a dilemma. Now the funny thing is that we humans have this belief system that once you make a choice you have to stick to that choice. Why is that?
Why would you stick to something that doesn’t work for you anymore? Or, stay with something while you clearly desire something different? Just because what other people think or say? That you are not consistent or a person that hasn’t the stamina to see things through? Do you realize that it is also a choice to allow (the thoughts of) other people to keep you from choosing to feel happy at any given moment?
Please understand that every day, every moment, you can make a new choice, change your course. And, if other people advise you not to chose whatever is making you feel more happy, just ask yourself how they, not you, would benefit from having you stay where you are.
Oh, and my choice regarding the iPhone? Nothing would make me more happy then to go down to the shop today and get myself that beautifull phone, although…when I think of the problems I would have, perhaps I better wait. But, then every day when I use my old phone I would regret not having an iPhone, so….Well, what the heck, it’s only a phone anyway…:)
Please feel free to share your comments or personal experiences about dealing with dilemmas.