How often do you experience moments of indecision? Sometimes? All the time? Too often? Although I am pretty clear nowadays when it comes to choosing and deciding, it still happens to me every now and then that I feel doubt or have a hard time to decide in which direction to go. Do you recognize that? Perhaps you have a situation right now where you feel this indecision?
What often happens is that we get stuck in our mind, endlessly comparing pros and cons without coming to a clear preference. Have you noticed how tiring that is? You even feel a fool sometimes because despite all your experience and knowledge you are not able to take a decision.
A recent example reminded me however that we are able to deal with these situations much more easy and effectively than we think.
Indecision is not bad, it is a signal
As a freelance professional I am using all kinds of services to alert me of interesting opportunities that are out there, ranging from interim projects to regular jobs. I think it was a couple of weeks ago, before Christmas, when I got an email alert of what seemed to be a very interesting job.
I started to read the details of the job profile and noticed all kinds of things I normally like in a job: interesting products/services, international travel, challenging circumstances and so on. I bookmarked the website and agreed with myself that I would write an application letter as soon as possible.
As the job was with an international organization, I started to update my English CV. While doing so I noticed that my mind was mulling over this opportunity some more, bringing me all kinds of mixed signals. This threw me slightly off balance and I felt an increasing doubt whether or not to proceed with the application.
For several weeks I was going back and forth between sending in the application, or not, and I seemed unable to come to a clear decision. I didn’t feel bad about this, why would I? I was just surprised and very aware that this was a clear sign that I was not ready to proceed.
Allow time for clarity to come in
Now, if people find themself in a situation like this, the typical reaction is to start forcing things. In the old days I would have indeed pushed myself, one way or another, to send in the application and get it over with. We all know that this doesn’t really work and it usually cost you a disproportionate amount of time and energy to get it done that way.
Instead of pushing, I allowed myself time to get a more clear feeling about the job and indeed, last week, I felt ready to take one final peek at the whole proposition. I downloaded the organization’s latest annual report and started to scan the pages. Interestingly, while reading, I noticed that I was more feeling into the organization and its activities than studying and analyzing the report as such and very quickly a very clear feeling came over me: don’t proceed! The next thing I did was deleting the materials from my computer and from my “energy system”.
How does this approach feel to you? Does it make sense to wait for clarity to come in? Just take a recent situation where you noticed a level of indecision within yourself. How did you deal with it? Would you be able to put the situation aside waiting for absolute clarity to come in?
If you still feel a little uncertain about this you may also want to read my post about dealing with dilemmas. Or, you can listen to the video clip below, in which Abraham shares some interesting observations about choices, indecision, trying and making things easy on yourself.
And, in case you don’t have time for clarity to come in and must take a decision right away?! Well, decide which choice feels relatively the best and then proceed, knowing that even if later on it appears to be the “wrong” decision it doesn’t matter because the “universe” will bring you the circumstances that are the most appropriate for you anyway (and you may have even enjoyed the detour…:).
Please feel free to share your stories and observations regarding indecision.