The other day, I had a discussion with a very dear friend of mine about compassion. Like most people she defined compassion as “having sympathy for, and an active desire to alleviate, the suffering of others.” In her case it was helping a person very close to her who had severe personal problems. Unfortunately, notwithstanding all the help from herself and the therapists she had engaged over time, very little progress had been made and she had become rather frustrated about it, so she asked me what to do next.
To her surprise, I not only told her to stop looking for another therapist, but also to stop interfering, not only because it was draining her own energy, but explaining that this would be real compassion, i.e. allowing others to walk their own path and create their own reality, even if it is painful for them and yourself as I wrote in Helping Others By Not Helping Them.
The more we talked about this, the more she began to understand how real compassion is indeed not to intervene, but to encourage others to take responsibility for themselves, reminding them that they are capable of dealing with any situation if they so choose.
Do you recognize this? Are you currently helping someone very close to you and feeling increasingly frustrated because the other person doesn’t seem willing or able to solve things? Why not stop, take a deep breath, and let it go? Don’t be surprised if all of a sudden, while you distance and re-balance yourself, they start to move in the direction you had desired for them all along.
If you still find it difficult to embrace this approach to compassion, perhaps the following message from the Pleiadian Collective, channeled by Wendy Kennedy, in which compassion and helping others is discussed some more, will help.