Spiritual Jokes (3)

 

I always love a good joke, especially when they have that unexpected little twist at the end…. 🙂

Please enjoy this weeks selection.

Sending Son to Israel

A Jewish businessman in Chicago sent his son to
Israel for a year to absorb the culture. When the son
returned, he said, “Papa, I had a great time in Israel.
By the way, I converted to Christianity.”

“Oy vey,” said the father. “What
have I done?” He took his problem to his best friend.
“Sam,” he said, “I sent my son to Israel, and
he came home a Christian. What can I do?”

“Funny you should ask,” said Sam.
“I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a
Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi.” So,
they did, and they explained their problem to the rabbi.

“Funny you should ask,” said the rabbi.
“I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he also came home a
Christian. What is happening to our young people?”

And so they all prayed, telling the Lord about their sons.
As they finished their prayer, a voice came from the
heavens:
“Funny you should ask,” said the voice.
“I, too, sent my son to Israel . . . ”

The Wise Teacher

One zen student said, “My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating.”

The second said, “My teacher has so much self control, he can go days without sleep.”

The third said, “My teacher is so wise that he eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he’s tired.”

Work, Sex and Play

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.

The priest says after consulting the Bible,” My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted on Sundays.”

The man thinks: “What does a priest know of sex?” He goes to a minister… a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply..Sex is work and not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge… A Rabbi.

The Rabbi ponders the question and states,” My son, sex is definitely play.”

The man replies,” Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?!” The Rabbi softly speaks,” If sex were work… my wife would have the maid do it.

Walking on Water

At an interfaith retreat some time ago, the organizers decided to allow for a free afternoon of just socializing. A priest, minister, and a rabbi went fishing together.

After a while, the priest said, “Brother, Rabbi, would you please both excuse me, I’ve got to pee.” He laid down his fishing pole, stepped over the side of the boat, and *walked across the water to the shore.* He finished his business, then *walked back across the water* to the boat.

The minister said, “Father, I didn’t want to be the first to have to go,” stood up, stepped over the side of the boat, and walked right on top of the water to the shore. He also finished his business, zipped up, and walked back on the water right back to the boat.

The rabbi was awestruck. Imagine — WALKING on water! He thought to himself, “well, if they can do this, so can I!” He excused himself to the priest and minister, put his pole down, stepped over the side of the boat … and sunk like a rock.

The priest turned to the minister and said, “You think we should have told him where the rocks were?”

Dalai Lama in New York

The Dalai Lama is visiting New York City. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.” The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Dalai Lama, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. “Where’s my change?” asks the Dalai Lama. The vendor responds, “Change must come from within…”

AUTOMATED CATHOLIC CONFESSION

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